Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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