I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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