I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
