guys are not supposed to queef...right?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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