the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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