better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
