Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
