Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
