So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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