Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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