I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
