it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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