I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
