"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
