wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
