:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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