and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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