I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize