Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
