but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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