my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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