Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
