Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
