Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
