Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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