What a fucking waste of an outfit
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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