Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
