How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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