drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
