Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Come see our sink grown plant.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
