you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
