: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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