Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people.

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  (510): Wooohooo!  I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush.  Lots of happy people. http://tfl.nu/ggkk
  Replies (3) Good night (1183) Bad night (1249)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

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  (810): Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now! http://tfl.nu/8f67
  Replies (1) Good night (995) Bad night (1139)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

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  (917): I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud. http://tfl.nu/cvat
  Replies (15) Good night (5947) Bad night (1176)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (5078) Bad night (1731)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.

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  (717): Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home. http://tfl.nu/i7zp
  Replies (5) Good night (2362) Bad night (911)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (8055) Bad night (2192)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.

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  (+61): Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you. http://tfl.nu/q4u2
  Replies (13) Good night (2230) Bad night (683)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really

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  (315): Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really http://tfl.nu/gifi
  Replies (4) Good night (1836) Bad night (726)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

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  (308): So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/8n8l
  Replies (5) Good night (596) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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  (805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (411)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.

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  (573): Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes. http://tfl.nu/s6ry
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

  (813): View more from Florida

  HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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  (727): The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy (813): HE'S NOT INVITED!!! http://tfl.nu/3870
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.

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  (708): I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge. http://tfl.nu/23bj
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (384)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

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  (330): Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time. http://tfl.nu/3pj1
  Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming

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  (501): He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming http://tfl.nu/cp16
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (231)

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