Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
