Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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