At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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