that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?