Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
