He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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