Ketchup is God's man juice
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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