it was like fucking gandolphs beard
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
