Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
