Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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