it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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