Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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