Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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