This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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