Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
