Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
