Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
