she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
