She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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