new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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