This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
