did you get engaged???
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i drank out of a bidet.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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