Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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