I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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