Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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(509): View more from Washington

My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.

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(650): View more from California

Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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(815): View more from Illinois

just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling

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(865): View more from Tennessee

It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?

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(510): View more from California

It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now

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