i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
