Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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