He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
