awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize