no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
