Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
why is half of my head shaved?
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